Yes, Virginia, This Is a Conspiracy Theory

Trump has an all-Northerner ticket, an unusual selection. The need to balance the ticket (Chris Christie should have known better than to hope for a NY-NJ run) is a political truism, and most specifically this means the need to include one Northerner and one Southerner.  (Did Biden count as balance? Delaware is south of the Mason-Dixon line.)

I’m not here to spread rumors about shadowy forces that control our government, but at some point, whoever THEY are, THEY clearly favored a Southerner on the top of the ticket. Of the first eight presidents, all the Southerners served two full terms, all of the Northerners had one term only.

Washington: Virginia: 2 terms
Adams: Massachusetts: 1 term
Jefferson: Virginia: 2 terms
Madison: Virginia: 2 terms
Monroe: Virginia: 2 terms
JQ Adams: Massachusetts: 1 term
Jackson: Tennessee: 2 terms
Van Buren: New York: 1 term

Forget “Southerner”: At one point Virginia alone claimed nearly 89% of available terms.

Northerners’ tendency to be lame ducks continued until the Civil War. The first Northerner president in danger of serving two terms was Abraham Lincoln, and he was literally killed by a Southerner to prevent it. (Booth was from Maryland; if that counts as the South surely Delaware does?)

The first Northerner to serve two full terms as president was Ulysses S. Grant. That’s right: The only way the South would allow a Northerner two terms was if he had just destroyed them in a war.

After Grant the curse was more or less lifted. New York’s own FDR held tight to the reigns for as long as humanly possible. Eisenhower was from Kansas, Obama from Illinois. I’m not saying that the shadowy forces of Virginia still demand a “balanced” ticket.

If they do, though, bet on Hillary/Kaine.

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