Punching Nazis Is the First Refuge of the Incompetent

…and then a Nazi gets punched in the face, and everyone pops a boner.

Let’s choose one voice from the chorus of hosannahs. Let’s see what soi-disant free-speech crusader Warren Ellis has to say:

 These are terrible things to say. This is all terrible.

I understand that Warren Ellis is not an American and may have no allegiance to a foreign constitution, but let’s never lose sight of the fact that the Nazi who got punched in the face was protected by the First Amendment (just like me!) and that a guarantee of free speech that only protects popular speech is meaningless. As every genuine free-speech crusader has pointed out, popular opinions do not need to be protected.

Another frequent talking point for people who support free speech is the slippery slope argument. You know how it runs: First they came for the Nazis, and I didn’t say anything etc. But slippery slope is often counted as a fallacy. What reason do we have for believing that just because we support punching Nazis for their beliefs that we will soon start supporting punching other people?

Well, Warren Ellis breaks all records by traveling down the slippery slope himself in the course of a single paragraph. First he wants to punch Nazis in the face. Next he wants to punch people-who-don’t-think-Nazis-should-be-punched-in-the-face in the face. “Surplus to human requirements.”

I understand the desire to punch people who disagree with you, but I also understand why this is bad. Perhaps you can make an argument that Nazis are a special case of people-who-disagree-with-you; but you probably shouldn’t follow it with “Also I want to punch in the face literally anyone who disagrees with me on this issue.”

And then there’s the slippery term Nazi. Richard Spencer (the face punchee) does not consider himself a Nazi. You may argue that he’s prevaricating, and he’s a Nazi in all but name, but now you’re making two controversial statements: 1. “I should be allowed to punch Nazis.” 2. “I get to determine who’s a Nazi.”

You may notice that we have spent the last half century being extremely careless about whom we call a Nazi. Odds are that you have called Trump a Nazi at least once; although I find Trump personally and politically repugnant, I have to concede that there are important differences between him and a Nazi, which only start with his support for Israeli hardliners and pledge to move the US embassy to Jerusalem. The Nazis manipulated Russia, not the other way around. Trump, don’t forget, thinks that his opponents are Nazis. I am aware of all this, but I have probably called Trump a Nazi myself.

Eight years of subway graffiti persuaded me that an awful lot of New Yorkers thought George W. Bush was a Nazi. The Comics Journal dressed Dave Sim as a Nazi (why can’t I find a picture of this?). This Jewish blogger mentions the time he got called a Nazi (the reason “will make your jaw drop”). None of these people are actual Nazis.

In fact, I would challenge the average American to name one defining tenet of Nazism aside from racism. I would wager that the answer would be something about boots. For most of us, Nazi is just a vague term for a person on the we don’t like, probably but not necessarily one who is to the right of us.

So we have two facts in play here. One is that no one’s really sure who a Nazi is (but is nevertheless happy to sling the label around willy nilly). The other is that we believe we should be allowed to punch people who are labeled “Nazis.” Do you see how this might be dangerous?

I wrote just last month about a guy who thought America and Britain were in some sense the moral equivalent of Nazi Germany. Do you want to put this fellow in charge of who gets punched in the face?

A punchable offense.

Even Ellis’s specific criteria for punchability—that you “los[e] the right not to be punched in the face” by “spouting genocidal ideologies that in living memory killed millions upon millions of people”—is hopelessly vague. Let’s see if we can name another genocidal ideology that in living memory killed millions upon millions of people. How about communism (still the leader in murder of the last hundred years)? Are you going to punch John Steinbeck, John Garfield, and Paul Robeson in the face? If you’re allowed to punch all Nazis and all communists in the face, especially in the loose way both terms have been bandied about, then you get to punch almost the entire middle of the twentieth century.

OR: A lot of my friends consider capitalism to be a genocidal ideology that in living memory killed millions upon millions of people. Heck, a lot of my friends consider “the American way” to be a genocidal ideology that in living memory killed millions upon millions of people. This is a lot of punching!

Basically, anyone who disagrees with me to a sufficient degree I should be allowed to punch in the face. I will deign to allow minor disagreements slide, but watch your step because if you stray too far from my party line WHAM! Among the unforgivable crimes (remember, Ellis explicitly lists this one) is disagreeing with me about whom I am allowed to punch.

Yes, yes, I know Indiana Jones and Captain America punched Nazis. I’m well aware of the work of Indiana Jones and Captain America. But they punched Nazis for killing people. They punched Nazis who were actually murdering people, not some crackpot internet troll who says things we don’t like. When we agreed that we would protect unpopular opinions from violence, we did not also agree to allow Hitler to use the Ark of the Covenant to conquer Europe. That’s not part of the Bill of Rights. Notice that Captain America did not break into a German prison to beat up Hitler for writing Mein Kampf. Yes, Cap punches Hitler, but look at the picture: The Nazis are shooting at him!

I have said many unpopular things in my life; I have also been punched in the face on numerous occasions. I understand that you want to punch me in the face again, and am resigned to the fact that someday you will; but I am annoyed that as you do it you will be thinking you are somehow a good person.

Here’s an unpopular thing I’ve said: I believe that most people tremble under a continual urge to hurt others, and are desperately searching for a justification, however tenuous, to let them act out this fantasy, or at the very least live vicariously through the violent actions of others. And it all sounds like crazy talk…

…and then a Nazi gets punched in the face, and everyone pops a boner.